I woke up.
Apr. 24th, 2004 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I don't always sleep.
My avatars do.. but a part of me is always working.. even in rest..
But when I dream..
I woke up.
It scared me.. I felt as if.. I'd died. A part of me ripped away that I would never get back.
I couldn't breathe. I collapsed on my bed and stared at the ever changing starry ceiling of my bedroom in the tower..
I couldn't move.
It scared me.
I didn't dare close my eyes.. I didn't want to feel again. Not like that.
So I stared.
I stared until the sun started to shine into the room.
I stared until my alarm clock went off.
I stared as I left a message in the office that I wasn't coming in today.
I was still staring when He showed up.
He mocked me.
I didn't hear Him.
He left.
He'll come back.
He always does.
And I'll no doubt still be staring.
My avatars do.. but a part of me is always working.. even in rest..
But when I dream..
I woke up.
It scared me.. I felt as if.. I'd died. A part of me ripped away that I would never get back.
I couldn't breathe. I collapsed on my bed and stared at the ever changing starry ceiling of my bedroom in the tower..
I couldn't move.
It scared me.
I didn't dare close my eyes.. I didn't want to feel again. Not like that.
So I stared.
I stared until the sun started to shine into the room.
I stared until my alarm clock went off.
I stared as I left a message in the office that I wasn't coming in today.
I was still staring when He showed up.
He mocked me.
I didn't hear Him.
He left.
He'll come back.
He always does.
And I'll no doubt still be staring.