I woke up.

Apr. 24th, 2004 02:23 pm
seijaku: (I Died Just A Little...)
[personal profile] seijaku
I don't always sleep.

My avatars do.. but a part of me is always working.. even in rest..

But when I dream..

I woke up.

It scared me.. I felt as if.. I'd died. A part of me ripped away that I would never get back.

I couldn't breathe. I collapsed on my bed and stared at the ever changing starry ceiling of my bedroom in the tower..

I couldn't move.

It scared me.

I didn't dare close my eyes.. I didn't want to feel again. Not like that.

So I stared.

I stared until the sun started to shine into the room.

I stared until my alarm clock went off.

I stared as I left a message in the office that I wasn't coming in today.

I was still staring when He showed up.

He mocked me.

I didn't hear Him.

He left.

He'll come back.

He always does.

And I'll no doubt still be staring.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-24 08:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pure-rose.livejournal.com
*hugs her*

please feel better...

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-24 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
While i don't personally subscribe to the theory, I know a guy that calls this sensation, or one much like it, a death shudder. He thinks it's when his conciousness gets to just enough of a relaxed point that his memory triggers a recollection of a time before he was alive.

Not that we gods need to worry about something like that. Probably some bad pizza or something, right?

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-25 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
I'd normally go with something cherry but as it's you we're talking about: grape or blueberry?

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-25 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
I could put the two together if it helps you...

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-25 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
*gestures, rosey light* Ta da!

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-25 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
Why are you in such low spirits of late?

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-25 11:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
None taken. *grins* That actually reminds me of several really bad jokes anyway. *back to you* What happened?

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-25 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
Seems to be the running theme of late. *lays a hand on your shoulder* There are still many possibilities out there for you.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-25 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
*waves a hand as the room fills with violets* If you truly love him then his happiness is the most important thing, isn't it?

(no subject)

Date: 2004-04-26 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] love-god-ares.livejournal.com
More pastry?

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Silence

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